Party of One by Joy Beth Smith

Author:Joy Beth Smith
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2018-01-03T05:00:00+00:00

THE SLOW FADE

A related topic but one rarely discussed in Christian circles is female porn usage. But the truth is it’s on the climb, and with incognito browsers, late-night loneliness, and closed doors after 10:00 p.m., it’s no wonder. As a love child of AOL and dial-up Internet, I am not surprised. I was raised online—I landed in chat rooms at thirteen and took part in conversations that started shaking loose the sweet, naive sentiments I held dear. I read fan fiction that would’ve made my brother blush. I learned how to write by LiveJournaling, and I learned how to take a selfie by MySpacing. I stumbled on porn by complete accident in sixth grade when I was talking with my friend jdrums16 on AIM and looking up something in a search tab. It was a pop-up. I still remember my chest flushing and how embarrassed I was. I couldn’t stop thinking about that image for weeks. It was humiliating and exciting.

Statistically, that timing is about right, if not a bit early. About 32 percent of women see porn before the age of twelve.10 Porn has traditionally been the man’s domain, but its usage is becoming much more common among women, perhaps because we don’t have to waltz in and buy a magazine from a clerk. We can simply hide under the covers. According to new statistics from Barna, 56 percent of women twenty-five and under and 27 percent of women twenty-five-plus have sought out porn.11 In fact, in the twenty-five-and-under group, 33 percent seek it out at least monthly.12 So are young women twice as likely to watch porn as their aging counterparts? Well, maybe. Part of the jump in these numbers is due to the fact that teenagers and young adults have more exposure to the Internet and are more comfortable in that space, but I believe part of it is also that they’re more likely to answer these questions honestly, whereas older women may not be.

Regardless, the numbers are rising for both groups, and we need to talk about it. We need to talk about it as a church, we need to talk about it at our conferences, we need to talk about it right here, right now—because that’s what you do when you’re sick. I prefaced the masturbation discussion by saying I felt like that topic was a matter of Christian liberty, and I didn’t think we could trust anyone who had an emphatic opinion either way. Let me be clear here: Pornography is not a matter of Christian liberty. We can’t trust anyone who doesn’t have an emphatic opinion here. I don’t say that to shame those of us who have used it in the past; I say it to orient the discussion to truth.

Even while you can believe masturbation is glorifying to God, we must acknowledge that it can and does lead to pornography usage. I’ve heard this storyline multiple times in the course of writing this book. I wish this weren’t the case.

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